flumps.org - Country Computer Dictionary
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Backup - What you do when you run across a skunk in the woods.
Bit - A wager as in, "I bit you can't spit that watermelon seed across the porch longways."
Bug - The reason you give for calling in sick.


Byte - Whut them dang flys do.
Cache - Needed when you run out of food stamps.
Chip - Pasture muffins that you try not to step in.
Crash - When you go to Junior's party uninvited.
Digital control - What yore fingers do on the TV remote.
Diskette - Female disco dancer.
Download - Gettin' the farwood off the pickup.
Enter - Northern 'fer c'mon in y'all.
Floppy - When you run out of Polygrip.
Floppydisk - Whatcha git from tryin' to carry to much farwood.
Hacker - Uncle Leroy after 32 years of smoking.
Hard drive - Trying to climb a steep, muddy hill with 3 flat tires and pulling a trailer load of fertilizer.
Internet - Where cafeteria workers put thier hair.
Keyboard - Place to hang your truck keys.
LAN - To borrow as in, "Hey Bart! LAN me yore truck."
Laptop - Whur the kitty sleeps.
Log off - Don't add no more wood.
Log on - Making the wood stove hotter.
Mac - Big Bubba's favorite fast food.
Mainframe - Holds up the barn ruf.
Megahertz - When yer not keerful gettin' that farwood downloaded.
Microchip - Whut's left in the munchie bag.
Modem - How you got rid of your dandelions.
Mouse Pad - Where Mickey and Minnie live.
Network - How to get yer bait for fishin.
Online - Where you hang your clothes to dry.
Packet - What you do to a suitcase before a trip.
Prompt - Whut th mail ain't in the winter taim.
Reboot - What you do when the first pair gets covered with barnyard stuff.
Screen - Whut to shut when it's black fly season.
Software - Them dang plastik forks and knives.
Superconducter - Amtrak's Employee of the year.
Terminal - Time to call the undertaker.
Windows - Place in the truck to hang your guns.